By Domonique Savoy
In a world that constantly pushes us toward conventional success, it’s easy to lose sight of how we truly define success. Success in contemporary society has been filtered through the lens of capitalism. It is often measured by material accumulations, productivity, and social status. Therefore, the focus is on how much we earn and have, our ranking in the social hierarchy, and how busy we are, whether we are occupied by something meaningful or not. External achievements are valued more than internal fulfillment, encouraging a cycle of endless striving rather than genuine contentment.
We often find ourselves questioning whether it’s acceptable to follow our heart’s desires, particularly when they don’t align with societal expectations, but how could the world shift if we shifted the tides?
From an early age, we are conditioned to seek approval from society through grades, jobs, and relationships. College students, in particular, often feel the pressure to choose an unambiguous path, one that is associated with the ideas of security, success, and social validation.
The pressure to conform can feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to suppress desires that don’t fit neatly into the expectations of family, professors, or peers. In these moments, our inner knowing is obscured by external conditioning, and our life no longer reflects the path of our full potential.
When we feel called to go inward and understand ourselves more deeply, we are being called to move through life with purpose. You might feel magnetism toward certain ideas, arts, or sciences, or a certain ease when you immerse yourself in fashion or music, for example. Pharrell once said, “If you could do it for free and make a real career out of it, is there actually a vocation around this?” The idea is to leverage your passions in sustainable ways. If you love basketball, and being a star player in the NBA is not an option, can you alternatively be a sports therapist for players? Or work in stadium operations?
We open ourselves up to a profound sense of direction—an inner knowing that tells us exactly what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. The more that we trust our internal compass, and the more devoted we are to it, the less we seek a permission slip from the world and decide for ourselves what we want to create in the world.
However, society teaches us that rather than trusting ourselves, we must follow paths that are safe, predictable, and easily understood by others. College students, in particular, feel the weight of this—pressure to choose one major, one career, one identity that fits within the confines of what is deemed ‘successful.’
Experts at Forbes released a study revealing that “people more often regret what they didn’t do—missed opportunities—than actions that they did take and view as mistakes.” This reveals something fundamental about how we experience time and purpose. When we take meaningful action, whether it leads to a mistake or not, we gain experience and knowledge that we may not have otherwise gained. If we do not allow ourselves to pursue and connect with that which is meaningful to us, the mind fills the blanks with
all that could have been, and we view it as something we’ve “missed.” Mistakes, failures, and detours that require us to pivot all contribute to our development and evolution, but excessive hesitation and inaction keep us stagnant.
Authenticity is often lost when we try to mold ourselves into what society expects of us, or when we base our desires on how we want to appear to others, rather than showing up with a purpose that we truly feel connected to. Likewise, we must honor the desires that make us who we are as unique human beings. Following our heart’s desires isn’t about choosing one pursuit over another; it’s about embracing the whole of who we are, without suppression.
One of the biggest challenges we face when following our heart’s desires is the fear of judgment. Society tends to prize singular focus and uniformity, which leads many of us to suppress passions that don’t fit into the mold of what is considered successful or worthwhile. We fear rejection from our peers, our families, or even ourselves when we step outside the bounds of conventional expectations. Experts at Forbes found “A majority (65%) of respondents today work in the field their parents wanted for them. And even when young people chose a path other than what their parents wanted, most didn’t do it lightly.”
Following your heart’s desires often requires vulnerability and courage. In Doechii’s YouTube video: Core values… What do you REALLY give af about? She says, “I start to feel inadequate when I feel like I’m not meeting the expectations of my audience.” She also says, “I don’t have a problem with the speed of my growth…where I am…and I don’t feel like I’m at a standstill…if I’m growing inward, I know that I’m growing outward.”
When we follow our heart’s desires, we empower ourselves to create the life we want to live and contribute to the world we wish to live in. By embracing our authentic selves and pursuing what we love, we create a ripple effect of inspiration, showing others that they, too, can follow their own paths, regardless of societal expectations. Our journey of self-discovery doesn’t just benefit us; it empowers our communities to think more expansively and live more authentically.
In a world full of distractions, pressures, and expectations, following your own ideas of success may seem like a radical act. But radical does not mean reckless. It means being willing to break free from limiting beliefs and courageous enough to live with purpose. When radicality is combined with strategy, discipline, integrity, wisdom, community, and resilience, transformation is sustainable and deeply impactful. How do you begin to discover your own idea of success?
Success starts with self-inquiry:
What truly fulfills me?
Whose definition of success am I chasing?
If money and status weren’t factors, what would I devote my life to?
How do I measure a meaningful life?
How do you define success? Take some time to reflect on that today.
As you navigate your college years and your life beyond college, remember that you don’t have to fit into a single mold to be successful or fulfilled. When you align with your own true expectations of success and fulfillment, those are the realities you create for yourself.
